Every girl dreams of the day they get asked that important question in life. Every girl dreams it will be romantic and everything they wished. But in my experience, it has happened twice before I hit 21 and none of them were romantic.

The first time I got asked “Will you marry me” I was a sophomore in high school and I was dating that bad boy from your since class. You know, the one who was emo and hot and maybe was going to be in class that day. The one you wore eyeliner for and made sure you stayed up and listened to all his favorite bands that he names on his Myspace page. (wow I just dated myself there). That was; lets call him for irony, bad boy. Bad boy was a year older than me, had a messed up family life, but played the cello in our school orchestra so I had an in on my parents with him. Of course when we first met it was in science class and I was just a pathetic girl who fell for that bad boy look but the way I won his attention wasn’t my appearance, I believe it was me dissecting a frog with no gloves and having a pathetic popular boy wear about 12 gloves and faint when I cut the poor frog open. The bad boy first was boycotting cutting open the frog I think, but I remember him throwing a tongue at me later. We became friends and then later I was on his top 5 Myspace best friends and then later we were making out on my locker. I know a lot of people will think “you did this to piss off your parents” oh on the contrare. I broke up with him because my mom didn’t like him. Then acouple weeks later I found out a friend of mine was going after him and I just couldn’t have that and I confessed my feelings and well we started seeing each other in secrete. The friend I’m going to call her Ice Cream Body because well, she reminds me of an Ice Cream cone, well she threaten to tell my parents but what she didn’t know was my parents thought I moved on with a good church going guy so they didn’t believe her or her “proof”. The night he asked me to marry him was like any other day. It was in the fall, and my high school best friend was over for the night after play practice and we were going to go downtown and meet the boys at McDonalds. We had an amazing time and then we went to the park near my house and I should have figured something was up because bad boy and I were left on the swings along and all I kind of remember was him asking “do you know what I have been playing with this ring all night” and the high school me played dumb but I figured it was coming the second I saw it on him. Then he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I said yes and wore the ring for months until I came to my senses and said “I can’t marry a guy that I’m hiding from my family”. To this day bad boy is still on my Facebook friend list but we aren’t as close as we use to be in high school.

Now the second time I got the question popped to me, was a very scary part in my life. I don’t remember much about it I just remember I knew if I said no, he would hit me. The next guy I think I want to call him oh I don’t even know he was so bad… child I guess is a good name for him or atleast a decent name for him. He was again a year older than me and he was in my math class when I was a freshmen in high school… I guess he crushed on me since then and I ignored his prescense till Senior year when I was just… messed up I guess. I was going through so much with my first love break up that I just wanted to feel something. Child and I’s relationship can be described as horrible, manipulative, abuse. He had to make sure that I wouldn’t leave him and if I did he would make my life hell. We fought so much, and he would call me all the names in the book one day, the next he would buy me gifts and apologize and love me. I was so broken and really had no friends that I just went with it. I listened to him, I took the abuse, and I believed that I was happy with who I saw in the mirror. I didn’t talk to my friends at all, I only talked to his friends and his family. I lied to my parents about who I was hanging out with and where I was staying all the time. I lied constantly to myself that I could even love him. The night he proposed I think we were drinking, or something or maybe it was just a good week and I didn’t want to jinx it and make him made. He asked me one night when we were falling asleep and I knew if I said no that I would be trapped in his house, in his bedroom and I might not make it to my parents house again so I said yes just to escape. Even when I moved to college and gave him the ring back thinking that he would have no power over me when I moved away, I had no idea that he would still have all the power over me. He made sure that I knew that he would always take care of me, that he loved me. He would call me when he knew I had a test or a huge project and keep me up by having him or his friends call me constantly. He made sure that he would post old photos of us and make sure he tagged me in them. I was always his love and when I came home from college and finally got my own car my twisted head I had to show him first. To say that he still doesn’t have a hold over me would be a lie, but I do know he does not have a say in my life.

The next time I say “yes” to someone I want to make sure I am ready. I want to make sure he is not doing it to control my life and I want to make sure I am doing it because I am happy and not to piss off people in my life. I know there is one person in my life right now that if he asked me tomorrow I would say yes because he makes me happy. I just want to make sure that its all for the right reasons that I say yes.