It’s your mom making a home made birthday cake, it’s your dad’s off tune singing, it’s unwrapping gifts and giggling with friends. The home made movies that you find that you smile at. Those are the memories I wish I had for my birthdays.
For the first 10 yrs of my life my birthdays were like that, the house filled with family and friends. Mom’s home made lemon filled cake. Some home made videos, but mostly pictures. Then after my 11th birthday I kind of didn’t want to make a big deal. I just went about my day pretending to be happy and stuff but all I wanted was to curl in bed and pray to god that my birth parents would show up.
That’s the thing about being adopted. No matter how much you love the family you have, when your birthday comes, well at least for me, it’s just a reminder that my real mom and dad didn’t want me and that’s why I’m so alone in the world. This year especially. I’m not with someone who I want to spend my life with, I have to work, and well its 2020… the year sucks. I wish I could go back in time to when I was younger and I at least had family and friends make a huge deal about it.
I just don’t want tomorrow to come… I fake being happy enough… I can’t dare not be happy on my birthday…
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